Friday, June 16, 2006

Paternity Test

After reading M's post I couldn't help but envision this scene..... All characters in this scene are fictitious and the author is not responsible for the readers conclusion(s).

(Enter Maury Povich with paternity test in brown/yellow envelope. On the couch sitting nervously to the left of Emille are yours truly Marie W. and Winnie M.. To the right General Roocey and offspring. Maury opens the envelope and the audience holds their breath. Pin drop silence abounds as Maury pulls out the paternity results....)

Maury: Now Emille, we are here to determine whether Winnie is your daughter are you prepared to hear the results of the paternity test?

Emille: zzzzzz.....(drool dripping on his Polo golf shirt)

Maury: Emille??? Emille. How about you General? What do you think the paternity results will reveal?

G. Roocey: (incoherent mumbling)'s the press that is trying to damage the First family which is mainly baba pookie, myself, La-won, Pookie and Sha-Qwanda. Peace up! O-town down!

Emille: ..zzzz...

Maury: Well before I read the results can we have a side by side picture of Emille and Winnie for the audience to see?

(Picture put up and audience oohs and aahs then heckles)

Marie: Even you can see the ears are alike and the eyes are similar....

(General is so offended that she jumps on the cameraman and slaps him and then races to attack Marie, bodyguards jump on stage to seperate the two women)

Marie: (Removing Maasai Market earrings and shedding off shoes) Wacha akuje hapa nimfundishe adabu! Pumbavu wewe!

(Audience excited at the probability of a fight start chanting fight! fight!)

G. Roocey: (foaming at the mouth and being held back by bodyguards as wig partially becomes lopsided) Adabu ni wewe na nyani wako! (Is taken back to her seat and she promptly orders offspring to move their chairs as far away from Marie's side. Offspring carry Emille plus chair to further corner)

Maury: Well here we go. Are you ready for the results? Well Emille (who ng'orotas and starts sucking thumb) The DNA test results show that you _______ (reader allowed to put are or are not in this space) the father of one Winnie M.

G. Roocey or Marie: (Running off stage into back room crying hysterically) I know he is/not the father! He is/notthe father! (Maury follows to console)

(Audience boos looseress and heckles remaining offspring off the stage. Meanwhile on Stage 2 Jerry Springer prepares to interview 2 Arsemenians and Winnie M heads into make up before being ushered into Jerry's show)


Blogger Valedon said...


6/17/2006 05:53:00 AM  
Anonymous mentalacrobatics said...

Consider yourself tagged:

6/18/2006 09:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Ka Jaduong said...

I Like reading your comments kabinti,It sounds real carefully worded and intellectual,

Keep it Up.

Ka Jaduong in Singapore

6/19/2006 02:04:00 AM  
Anonymous m said...

Wewe umechizi. Really. Completely!


6/19/2006 02:31:00 AM  
Blogger Kabinti said...

@ mental - thanks. will try and not procrastinate on that..
@ka jaduong - karibu sana and thank you
@ m - it's the madness that keeps me sane :o)

6/20/2006 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Joseph Walking said...

Baba jimmy is not the father. he is just uncle emille

6/20/2006 02:14:00 PM  
Blogger Stunuh Jay said...

LOL! you've given it lots of thought

6/26/2006 11:18:00 AM  

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